Eyes on the Prize

We've heard a lot of talk about Iraq, Afghanistan, the economy, the western fires, the melting polar caps and whatever the liberal enemeida wants to put forth. But let's not lose sight of the main objective.

Things to do Today

1. Pardon Scooter!
2. Jail the bad guys.
3. Have a "talk" with some Gitmo prisoners.
4. Terror Alert Red.
5. Have a "talk" with New York Times.
6. Go hunting.

Big Day Tomorrow

While the President gets probed...

DICK CHENEY WILL BE COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF!

For three hours, you better believe...

IRAN WON'T SMARTMOUTH US.
OSAMA WON'T TRY ANYTHING.
NOT ONE GLACIER WILL MELT.

2008: CHENEY FOR PRESIDENT
MAKE EVERY DAY A COLONOSCOPY!

Friday Eye Candy

Sickening Congress, Sickening

Well, Congress has finally done it.

It's alienated 83 percent of the American public, according to the latest left-leaning Zogby poll.

Meanwhile, only 66 percent of the public believes the country is going in the wrong direction, according to the same pinko pollster.

That gives the Bush Administration a 17 point lead just 15 months before Election Day 2008.

WE ARE WINNING IN IRAQ.

WE ARE WINNING IN PEORIA.

WE ARE WINNING IN HEAVEN.

STAY THE COURSE, CHENEYITES.

Kristol Klear!

At last!

Somebody from the left-wing media comes around to say what everybody is thinking: George Bush is the best President we ever had.

Check out this list of achievements, which you won't find in mainstream publications.

1. Stock market up-up-UP!

2. No terrorist repeat of 9-11!

3. Medicare.

4. No Child Left Behind. None that we've found.

5. Global warming proven as fraud. Just charts. That's all.

6. Democrats shown as lying thieves. (Rep. William Jefferson)

7. No accusations about cheating on First Lady with some chubby White House intern. None. Nobody has even mentioned the possibility. And don't think for a minute he's had not had chances!

8. Scooter Libby given justice. Hopefully, a full pardon.

9. Iraq and Afghanistan transitioning to democracy. Long term. That's where President Dick Cheney comes in!

City To Cheney: Drop Dead

What is it with New York City? They did a little write-up on the Vice President and said the worst things you can say (and waited 'til Bohemian Grove time, the cowards; they knew he'd be off in the woods). We'll show you some of the drivel they came up with, then rebut it point by point. But do not leave it around where impressionable eyes might see it.

He is pathologically (but purposefully) secretive; treacherous toward colleagues; coldly manipulative of the callow, lazy, and ignorant President he serves; contemptuous of public opinion; and dismissive not only of international law (a fairly standard attitude for conservatives of his stripe) but also of the very idea that the Constitution and laws of the United States, including laws signed by his nominal superior, can be construed to limit the power of the executive to take any action that can plausibly be classified as part of an endless, endlessly expandable “war on terror.”

Where to begin?

Okay, 1. The Vice President is not pathologically (but purposefully) secretive.

2. The Vice President is not treacherous toward colleagues.

3. The Vice President is not coldly manipulative.

4. The President is not callow, lazy, or ignorant.

5. The Vice President is keeping us safe.

Got it?

Good.

Hot Fun In The Summertime

Hey, it's already mid-July! That's means it's time for Bohemian Grove, the exclusive, secret campout/confab of the richest, most powerful men (yes, men) in the greatest country in the world! The pluckiest & luckiest huddle for two weeks every summer to let their hair down, have a few, swap stories, burn effigies, prance naked, and hatch big plans we'll all hear about some day! And best of all: no tipping the staff!

HAPPY BOHEMIAN GETAWAY, MR. VICE PRESIDENT!
WHILE YOU'RE THERE, HATCH A PLAN TO BE PRESIDENT!


Update: Uh-oh. Now the tree-huggers are trying to ruin this too.

Rest, Old Friend

No one deserves it more.

Friday Eye Candy

The 2007 SHOT (Shooting, Hunting and Outdoor Trade) Show in Orlando, FL. Photo by Jaime Santa for Field & Stream.

News Conference Big Success

Message: We're back to winning in Iraq!

Whoever said we were behind?

We're winning this war. We've killed at least 50,000 of them.

HOW CAN ANYBODY SAY WE'RE LOSING THIS WAR, WHEN WE'VE KILLED MAYBE 100,000 OF THEM?

We're winning. At this rate, they can't hold out much longer.

Big News Conference Today

Our Commander in Chief will speak today. Unfortunately, we cannot live blog the event, and thus keep the Femno-Liberal, Paris Hilton-obsessed, union-run "news" media honest.

No doubt, they will light upon some minor bungle of a word.

No doubt, they will claim what he says is not true.

It is your job to watch. It is your duty to listen. It is our greatest hope that his words reach your hearts and transform Americans into the unified fighting force that can win the war on terror.

Dick Cheney will be there, if not in pure physical presence, in spirit.

May God rule your tongue, Mr. President. Speak loudly.

A Classy Guy Facing a Tough Test

Our prayers go out with a shout to Senator David Vitter, who faces a terrible hardship, apparently because he is guilty of just trying to be too much, too often, to too many people.

Long ago, Dave made the all-too-human mistake of paying for love and thinking it's the real deal. If he had asked us, we'd have told him it's not. They always write down your name. Nevertheless, we're boosted by the classy way our favorite Senator has handled the so-called "controversy."

Apparently, Senator Dave's phone number turned up on the DC Madam's list, a misunderstanding that could happen to anybody. Unfortunately, the Pinko Press found out, and a few hours before he was going to be smacked in yellow headlines, Dave came clean. He took full responsibility, UNLIKE BILL CLINTON, WHO LIED UNDER OATH, and according to news accounts, David's wife has issued him a full pardon.

That's true love, folks. When a good guy messes up, the Lord and the wife will always forgive.

Hang in there, Senator Dave. You're a good man. You let your whammy get in the way of your love for America. But we're proud of you. You owned up to it. You told the truth, UNLIKE BILL AND HILLARY. Don't let one moment of ecstacy take you down, amigo.

Gore Needed Two Cars and a Police Escort

It's amazing they even allow this guy to appear in public.

HOW CAN HE TALK ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING WHEN HE NEEDS ONE CAR TO GET INTO THE CONCERT, AND THEN ANOTHER CAR TO GET OUT?

AND A POLICE ESCORT TO BOOT!

That's a waste of gasoline. If Gore really wanted change, he bike everywhere. And wash his clothes in rivers. And give his food to starving apes.

He's done. He's over. Goodbye.

This is the outrage that has brought an end to our plump and juicy friend, Albert Goreing.

Stay the Course, GOP, or you will pay

Nobody likes cowards. Especially Republican cowards.

Don't be one.

Loser: Nobody came, Nobody had a good time, and the Earth will do just fine

Al Gore loses again. It was a lousy show. It was a lame idea. The music stank. There were long lines to the concession stands. According to reports, nobody had a good time.

Earth won't be saved by music.

It needs security. It needs progress.

It needs a man who sees the forest for its trees.

DICK CHENEY FOR PRESIDENT
BECAUSE NATURE NEEDS SECURITY

Friday Eye Candy

Such a waste...

Gore Doesn't Know How to Raise a Kid

Spare the rod, spoil the child...

No news today. Another liberal couple just spewed another lost offspring.

Dick Cheney has raised two great daughters, both of whom are loving MOMS. Al Gore's kid must have been too busy buying weed to do anything productive. What else would you expect from the guy who spends his life trying to scare people about sunshine?

Happy Birthday, America

Celebrate Our Birthday

Come on grand ole US of A
Let fly the flag, celebrate our gift,
The flame of life soaring in the glory
Of all we have to give.

The power of the Word of God
Crying liberty for all,
A hope, a future, an eternity
Freely poured from shore to shore.

The aroma of the home baked pie
A symbol of warm caring hearts,
How much the more our eternal faith
In how we make our mark.

For in the blood of Christ, we stand today
Not as an empty crying crowd,
But united in truth we offer all
A heritage so proud.

Yet, shall we honor the whole, and also the one
Within the heart of me,
Where true peace of God is found
And where we are set free.

Soft Whispers from
Derry's Heart Poems © 2005

Communist Health Care? Look what you get.

Doctors who build car bombs.

We can't figure out which is worse:

The fact that doctors are terrorists, or that they're too stupid to make a working car bomb.

We refuse to turn our heads and cough.

SAY NO TO FREE HEALTH CARE.

SAY NO TO TERROR DOCTORS.

Mr. President: Finish the Job

Pardon Scooter Libby, and end this charade!

If he lied, AND WE STRESS THE WORD "IF," he did it for the side of good.

He was merely teaching people to shut their big fat mouths in wartime.

PARDON SCOOTER NOW!

ELIMINATE HIS FINE!

DELETE HIS POLICE RECORD!

THEN START PAYING BACK THE ENEMIES OF AMERICA WHO BROUGHT THE CHARGES IN THE FIRST PLACE!

DICK CHENEY WOULD.

DICK CHENEY WILL!

Wishins Accomplished!

Scooter is free, and Iran is next!

OHHHHHHHH, YEAH

Try that on for size, Nancy.

THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN

AND A GOOD MAN STAYS OUT OF JAIL.

Pssssssssssssssst. THE SYSTEM WORKS, AFTER ALL!

The Stars Come Out For Scooter - II

What a happy 61st birthday this must be for actor Ron Silver (Veronica's Closet), who also happens to sit on the Libby Legal Defense Trust Advisory Committee!

"Thank-th for commuting Mithter Libby'th Thententh, Mith-ter Prethident!"

The Stars Come Out For Scooter

"I am very happy for Scooter Libby. I know that this is a great relief to him, his wife and children. While for a long time I have urged a pardon for Scooter, I respect the President's decision. This will allow a good American, who has done a lot for his country, to resume his life." -- Fred Thompson

Scooter Still Has To Pay A Fine & Legal Costs...

...So give generously!

Words Of A Hero

"The Constitution gives the president the power of clemency to be used when he deems it to be warranted. It is my judgment that a commutation of the prison term in Mr. Libby's case is an appropriate exercise of this power." -- Pres. George W. Bush

SCOOTER WALKS!!! THANK YOU PRES. BUSH!!!! THANK YOU!!!

I'm free to do what I want any old time
I'm free to do what I want any old time
So love me hold me love me hold me
I'm free any old time to get what I want

I'm free to choose who I see any old time
I'm free to bring who I choose any old time
Love me hold me love me hold me
I'm free any old time to get what I want

CHENEY/LIBBY '08???

IT'S TIME TO FIGHT

The arch liberal Washington Post, still crowing over its hatchet job on Richard Nixon, now wants to hurt Dick Cheney!

We say, YOU'RE OUTAHERE, COMMIES!

No more Woodwords. No more Bernsteins. No more reporters. PERIOD. GONE. GOOBYE.

Let the fire that is Dick Cheney burn within us.

We will not rest until he receives his rightful power in the White House, without having to do it on the sly.

NO MORE BACKDOOR PRESIDENCY.
PUT DICK IN THE WHITE HOUSE RESIDENCY.

Friday Eye Candy

CEL-E-BRA-TION TIME, C'MON!

EVERYBODY'S JOININ' IN! FIVE YEARS AGO TODAY, DICK CHENEY WAS NAMED ACTING PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, WHILE GEORGE W. BUSH UNDERWENT A MEDICAL PROCEDURE THAT MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE INVOLVED A RECTAL PROBE!

IT'S THE FIVE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY!

LET'S HEAR IT!

DICK CHENEY FOR PRESIDENT AGAIN.

AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN!

Toughest Man in the World... All Ours

Congress thought it had him.

Ha.

John Edwards thought he had him. Then he mentioned Mary's lesbianism.

Ha.

Tim Russert thought he had him. He tried to use videotaped comments as a weapon.

Ha.

Nobody gets Dick Cheney.

Nobody.

DICK CHENEY FOR PRESIDENT.

NOBODY GETS HIM. NOBODY.

IMPEACH CONGRESS!

WASHINGTON, USA - The Senate subpoenaed the White House and Dick Cheney's office Wednesday, escalating the legislative branch's unconstitutional eavesdropping on the Vice President.

"Today's action is another example of the abuse of power that has become the hallmark of the Reid-Pelosi Congress," said Vice President Cheney from an undisclosed steakhouse. "Congressional spying on me without any kind of warrant and without my approval runs counter to the very foundations of our democracy."
-- The Wall Street Journal

***

"We hold these truths to be self-evident: That... whenever any form of government becomes destructive... it is the right of the [Vice President] to... abolish it."
-- History

***

"Render unto Caesar... the things that are God's."
-- Jesus Christ

FREE FREEDOM
IMPEACH CONGRESS

Cheneytorial: Journalism's Journal Needs Murdoch

The greatest journalist in history is going to buy The Wall Street Journal.

Could life be sweeter?

We at DRAFT DICK CHENEY FOR PRESIDENT hereby express GREAT DELIGHT at the notion that help is on the way to the American print media.

At long last, the troubled Bancroft family - which may or may not have included arch pinko-lefty Anne Bancroft -- will relinquish its iron-fisted, liberal-bias reign over the newsroom.

At long last, good reporters will be able to write fair and balanced stories, without the taint of their left-leaning editorial barn-keepers.

We might even get some scandals about Democrats for a change!

LAST TIME WE CHECKED, THERE WERE STILL SOME UNANSWERED QUESTIONS ABOUT HILLARY AND WHITEWATER. READY, WALL STREET?

EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT:
THE NEWS IS GOING TO TURN GOOD

Countdown to Ecstacy Anniversary

Only two days 'till the FIFTH ANNIVERSARY of the day when Dick Cheney became acting President of the United States:

June 29, 2002.

That day, while George W. Bush was rendered briefly unable to govern due to a necessary medical procedure that may or may not have involved a rectal probe, Dick showed he can handle the job.

And with aplumb!

In 2009, let's let George W. Bush have all the medical procedures he wants to have, with or without his rectal probes, and let's have DICK CHENEY BE THE ALL-TIME PRESIDENT OF THE UNTED STATES.

Probe Dick Cheney for President
And leave the polyps to Iran.

Washington Post Attack Falls Short

The left-leaning Washington Post's army of dirt-diggers has found nothing on Dick Cheney. Nada. Zip. Zero.

And that clears the way for 2008.

Let's see Pretty Boy Edwards or Al "Save Me, I'm a Whale" Gore handle some commie scrutiny for a change.

We say this: The GOP should have a Search Committee name its 2008 candidate. And guess who should head it up?

DICK CHENEY FOR 2008 SEARCH PARTY CHAIR
WHY CHANGE A DEAL THAT WORKS?

OLÉ!

Once again, Dick Cheney has made the DemocRATS see red and act like fools.

They went to court to learn who Dick met while writing U.S. energy policy in the Executive Branch. They thought they had him. And then...
... OLÉ!

Dick's newest reply: As President of the Senate, he's not in the U.S. Executive branch, and so their request is all wet.

They have to rewrite the whole damn thing, and when they do, Dick will just outwit them again.

He'll never talk, even if they waterboard him.

Not because Dick Cheney has anything to hide.

DICK CHENEY ISN'T A RAT, THAT'S WHY.

AND THAT'S NO BULL!

DICK CHENEY IN 2008.
HE'S NO RAT.

Friday Eye Candy

Double dose!

NEWSITORIAL: Five Minutes To Doomsday

A great danger faces the world.

According to the news, criminal scientists are close to developing the so-called "Gay Bomb," a briefcase explosive that, if detonated in a major city such as San Francisco, could turn millions of upright citizens into perfumed, bone-licking, ass-pounding, boa-clad abominations.

Within minutes, every social interaction would be transformed in a diamond hard frenzy of Dad-on-Dad graftification, with all human dignity sacrificed on the Satanic altar of ecstasy.


In other words, never has Man faced a more terrifying threat.

We hereby call upon President George W. Bush to convene an International Council on Gay Weapons Disarmament to hammer out a lasting, unbreakable ban on this doomsday device.

Our children are at stake. Our families are at stake.
Stop the Gay Bomb... NOW!